


First love

by dimtraces



Series: The blue man [4]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Force-Sensitive Finn, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 19:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7477353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dimtraces/pseuds/dimtraces
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>FN-2187 is fourteen years old, and he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Slip for weeks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First love

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: None, except for the general fact that the First Order should not be raising children!

“Lovestruck, little one?” the blue man says, grinning.

They’re sitting in an alcove in the back of one of the cleaning droids charging rooms, a place no human ever goes. A place that’s _theirs_. The blue man had unearthed it some months ago, after a few near-misses when someone had seen FN-2187 talk to empty air and he’d just barely managed to convince them that he’d been grumbling to himself about the poor weather. Or that he’d been whispering that morning’s address to himself, to learn the wisdom of Commander Hux by heart. Or that he’d been cursing out his helmet, and definitely not his invisible friend for somehow thinking it’s a good idea to stand behind Lieutenant Phasma during target practice and say, “Troopers, we expect every single one of you to perform well above average in this task,” in an uncanny imitation of her severe voice, although the lack of helmet had handicapped his mimicking a bit. The blue man is just too expressive. He’d even been rolling his eyes when he’d continued, “We expect this because we don’t know how the arithmetic mean is computed.” FN-2187 had tried hard to keep from grinning, and then he’d remembered with a jolt that it didn’t even matter because he was wearing a helmet, and then his shot had missed the center by an inch. FN-2187 had been very annoyed. (Even if it _had_ been funny.)

It’s a good spot, the alcove, even situated below one of the scarce sky-lights, like the room probably hadn't been meant to be for droid storage when it was conceived of.

The blue man is lounging on the floor in the sun, smiling lazily. He looks more like one of the Loth-cats FN-2187 had seen on a routine reconnaissance mission a year ago than is entirely reasonable for an invisible glowing cyborg of 1.90 meters, whose only mission in life (death?) seems to be shouting at Kylo Ren and disapproving of all the Order does because it is, apparently, _amateur_.

Well, that, and hopefully giving FN-2187 tips on how to flirt with his team-mate.

The blue man slowly blinks up at FN-2187’s face. “So, tell me about this person of yours that caused you to drag me all the way out here.”

“It’s Slip. FN-2003,” FN-2187 says, indignantly. On second thought, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea, if all the blue man is going to do is mock him. “You’ve seen him. He’s in my strike-group, remember?”

(Yesterday, after training, FN-2187 had offered Slip his hand to help him up, and Slip had taken it! They’d both been wearing armor at that time, of course. FN-2187 has yet to experience actual skin-contact with him. Skin contact! If it ever happens, FN-2187 imagines, his face is going to get so hot it’ll burn off. He’d indulged himself though, imagining Slip’s face with shy pleasure in his hazel eyes. It hadn't been as cool as that, at least not that FN-2187 knows for sure, but it had been something, and Slip hadn’t rejected his offer, and FN-2187 had kind of wanted to brag about that to the one person who might actually care.)

“I only meant to give you room to talk, young one. When I was married, I often wished to be able to tell people. And I know you have not confided in anybody else because your Order disapproves of love and affection.”

“You were married?”

“Yes. She was an angel. I met her when I was nine, and I’ve loved her ever since.”

“How did you meet?” FN-2187 is excited. The blue man only rarely reveals information about himself. FN-2187 knows hardly anything about him, about the man that’s been by his side for years now, who knows almost everything there is to know about FN-2187. (Except for the things that no-one knows, like whether FN-2187 has a mother somewhere who loves him.)

“She came to the planet where mother and I… worked. The Trade Federation had attacked her planet. She didn’t want to leave, but she did, to plead their case before the Galactic Senate, because she believed they would help. Then she went home to wage war and brought the Federation to their knees,” the blue man says, smiling as he looks at the far wall of their hideout. “Ten years later, I was assigned as her protector. In short time, we were wed…”

FN-2187 waits for a minute after the blue man trails off, but there’s nothing else forthcoming. The blue man just stares wistfully in the general direction of a cleaning droid. FN-2187 has already guessed from asides he’s carefully stored away in his heart that the blue man’s life before hasn’t been kind, and it seems like his marriage was bound up with that.

He’s still deciding how to carefully steer the conversation away from the topic that’s causing his friend so much pain, when he gets interrupted.

“Have you told Slip?” the blue man asks. “In my experience, it is best to openly tell the object of your affection how you feel. This gives them the chance to consider your proposal and to decide whether to accept or reject you. It also might make them see you in a new light—maybe he hasn’t considered you a possible partner at all, before. You’ve known each other since you were children, maybe he still sees you as a child.”

“What if he gets angry? What if he tells people?”

The blue man’s jaw clenches. “If he gets angry at you, he never deserved your affection in the first place,” he snarls. “But you are wise to consider this. You are in a dangerous position. Very well… there are other ways of gauging interest—subtle flirtations. Body language. You are already better at them than me. You understand people, and in my time, I was horribly deceived by my _friend_.

“In truth, I am not well-suited to assist you with this,” the blue man says. “I only ever loved _her_.”

There it is again, that desolate look.

The blue man looks away again for a moment, and then his eyes snap back to FN-2187. He grins. “There is something, though, that I can teach you. I wasn’t supposed to do it, but. Well. You cannot show anyone, it is infinitely more dangerous than your affection, but it is your right. See the droid before you? Close your eyes, know yourself, and reach out. Reach out, feel its surface. Feel it rise—slowly. _Slowly_. Before Padmé and I became intimate, I used to do this for her, with Nubian pears. It made her laugh. It is one of my fondest memories.”

It wouldn’t look half as impressive with one of their ration bars, FN-2187 thinks, but that hardly matters.

**Author's Note:**

> Not as sad as usual! Except when you remember that in this verse, Poe shot Finn's first crush. Oh, Star Wars.
> 
> I may be alone in this but I've always thought that Anakin's and Padmé's flirting was very sweet. Even the bad special effects pear. Though Finn probably still shouldn't be taking any tips from him...
> 
> Slip's eye colour is from Before the Awakening. I'm not usually one for visually describing characters, and in tight pov fic like this self-descriptions are usually just ridiculous, like do you usually spend five minutes thinking how nice your own eyes look? Also this is fanfic and we all know what everyone looks like. But here it makes narrative sense.
> 
> Anakin should gain some appreciation for Obi-Wan watching Luke for his whole life and not teaching him anything, for fear he might be discovered, since he's in the same situation now. Unfortunately, Anakin has way less self-control.
> 
> Thank you for reading :)


End file.
